<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Hell's Half-Acre by QM_Vox</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25324108">Hell's Half-Acre</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QM_Vox/pseuds/QM_Vox'>QM_Vox</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Helltaker (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Biting, Blind Character, Blood, Coffee, Consensual Somnophilia, Cooking, Dating, Demon Sex, Demons, Domestic Fluff, Dubious Ethics, F/F, Fingerfucking, French Kissing, Girl Penis, Impregnation, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, Masochism, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Pregnancy, Sadism, Selfcest, Tail Sex, Trans Female Character, Trans Helltaker, Transformation, Vaginal Sex, Video &amp; Computer Games, Violence, Vodka, Voyeurism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:48:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25324108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QM_Vox/pseuds/QM_Vox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>This one's going to take awhile, folks. I tried my best to anticipate everything coming up in the tag cloud but I'm not entirely sure.</p><p>Comments and critique welcome!</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azazel/Cerberus/The Helltaker/Judgement/Justice/Lucifer/Malina/Modeus/Pandemonica/Zdrada (Helltaker)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hell's Half-Acre</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This one's going to take awhile, folks. I tried my best to anticipate everything coming up in the tag cloud but I'm not entirely sure.</p><p>Comments and critique welcome!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Beatrice, the Helltaker, tries to settle into her polycule's new home at Hell's Half-Acre</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lifelong habits of honesty and directness had, up to this point, carried Beatrice quite far. To Hell and back, you might say, and <em> alive </em> to boot. Unfortunately there come times in an honest woman’s life in which her friends and acquaintances, when presented with the truth, starkly refuse to believe it.</p><p>Which brings us to…</p><p>Jasmine Freeman, ex-girlfriend of Beatrice, saying “Uh-huh,” on a video call in the same deadpan voice a teacher uses to answer the latest and least-likely excuse for delayed homework.</p><p>“Don’t you ‘uh-huh’ me,” Beatrice said defensively. “You asked where I’ve been and I told you. When have I ever lied to you?”</p><p>Jasmine holds up a finger and then lowers it. “Okay,” she concedes, “but walking to Hell at three in the morning? Gathering up a bunch of demon ladies to date who are all conveniently horny, human, and not inclined to kill you? Having to move out of town all of a sudden because they don’t get on with the neighbors?”</p><p>Beatrice folds her arms across her chest. “And?”</p><p>“That seems a bit far-fetched. And maybe a bit stupid?”</p><p>“When have you known me to make good decisions Jazz?”</p><p>Whatever Jasmine’s answer was going to be got lost in time; the door to Beatrice’s bedroom slammed open, cracking the wall behind it and revealing Pandemonica with her curled hair in a wild nest and murder in her tired eyes.</p><p>“Cerberus put my coffee in Zdrada’s <em> fucking cigarettes</em>,” the head of Hell’s Customer Service snarled by way of greeting.</p><p>“Is that a <em> tail </em>?” Jasmine asked, incredulously.</p><p>“I’ve gotta go, Jazz,” Beatrice answered before she signed off of the call and stood up with a deep sigh. “Get Judgement and Justice to round Zee up, they’re the only ones that can catch her when she’s like this. I’ll take care of Ceberus.”</p><p>“<em>You’d better</em>.”</p><p>⛤</p><p><em> I really need to get Lucifer and Azazel around to reinforce these</em>, Beatrice thought to herself as she slammed open the door to Cerberus’s room, cracking the wall with a loud bang. She wasn’t sure what to expect - Cerberus had sometimes caused problems before, only to present ear-drooping guilt and apologies when confronted - but finding two of Cerberus’s bodies restraining the third was definitely not it. What Beatrice could only think of as the Sides were still in their sharp red-and-black suits, their gloved hands keeping the Middle pinned while she thrashed and kicked.</p><p>Middle was not wearing all of her suit. Boots, yes, shirt, sure, suit jacket, definitely, even the gloves were still on, but where pants and panties logically belonged there was only a clear and definite presence of toned legs and Middle’s copy of Cerberus’s round ass, presented for Beatrice’s viewing pleasure.</p><p>“You’re just in time!” Left-Side called out with a toothy grin.</p><p>Right-Side’s smile matched Left’s: “We caught the naughty demon who hurt poor Pandie!”</p><p>“Close the door,” the Sides sing-songed in unison.</p><p>“What,” Beatrice said in a slow voice while she shut the door, “the Hell.”</p><p>“We <em> just said </em>,” Left-Side pouted, her canines poking impishly over her bottom lip. “Middle ruined Pandie’s coffee and she needs to be punished.”</p><p>“<em>Severely</em>,” Right-Side agreed; she slapped one gloved hand against Middle’s ass and gripped her asscheek, pulling it aside to reveal a jeweled plug stretching Middle’s asshole.</p><p>Middle thrashed and moaned something that might have been ‘sorry’ and might have been ‘fuck me’. Both of Sides’ tails snapped out to smack Middle’s face on either side, leaving bright red spade marks on either cheek. </p><p>“We know you want her,” the Sides teased; Right-Side beckoned with one hand, tempting Beatrice closer.</p><p>Every pair of dog ears in the room were swiveled right at her, and Beatrice swallowed. Cerberus could be really cute when they wanted to be, and with her suit pants going from ‘comfortable fit’ to ‘uncomfortably tight’ at a steady clip she couldn’t exactly say the idea wasn’t tempting. But…</p><p>“You can’t just fuck your way out of getting in trouble,” Beatrice said firmly enough that she might have actually meant it. “It’s going to be a week or more before we can get more coffee in this house. You really hurt Pandemonica’s feelings.”</p><p>“We -” Right-Side began.</p><p>Left-Side picked it up: “Didn’t.”</p><p>“You’re all the same person -” Beatrice stopped when Right-Side held up a gloved hand. The Sides’ faces colored pink, pleased that the Helltaker had let them interrupt her.</p><p>“Remember when you taught us about <em> stealing</em>?” Left-Side said, her ears twitching and flicking as if to get rid of a fly. “If you want something from us -”</p><p>“- then pay for it,” Right-Side finished, giving Middle’s ass another harsh slap; Middle moaned in pleasure while her tail thrashed.</p><p>“You can’t steal a conversation,” Beatrice said, folding her arms across her chest.</p><p>“Why not?” all three of Cerberus’s bodies asked.</p><p>“Because -” Beatrice stopped. “- it’s not - hold on…”</p><p>While Beatrice got to thinking, Right-Side let go of Middle and went around the room lighting up gentle sticks of incense, selected after intensive shopping to be pleasing to Cerberus’s sensitive noses. Middle went limp, waiting patiently, and then immediately resumed struggling the moment Right-Side had a hold of her once more.</p><p>“Okay, you’ve got me,” Beatrice conceded, even as she started to undo her belt. The Sides licked their lips while they watched the Helltaker strip, though Cerberus’s show of self-control was somewhat undercut by the fact that Middle’s moans got louder and more frequent with every article of clothing removed. By the time Beatrice stepped up to give Middle’s tail a firm tug, the Sides were panting hot and heavy; <em> they </em> moaned and bit their lips with their tiny fangs at the sensation.</p><p>When Beatrice slid her cock between Middle’s asscheeks, teasing and threatening in the same wordless motion, Cerberus’s captive body started to grind her hips in response.</p><p>“I feel silly talking to just one of you,” Beatrice admitted. Right-Side took her cheek in one gloved hand and gave her a long kiss interspersed with nips from the demoness’s fangs.   </p><p>“You’re doing good so far,” Right-Side murmured in Beatrice’s ear.   </p><p>Left-Side kissed the Helltaker’s neck, dragging a sweet moan from Beatrice’s lips. “Just commit to the bit.”</p><p>“Did you really put Pandemonica’s coffee in Zdrada’s cigarettes?” Beatrice demanded of Middle.</p><p>“I did! I’m sorry, please don’t punish me!” Middle ground her ass up and down against Beatrice’s cock, failing spectacularly to both struggle and tease at the same time.</p><p>On the one hand, Cerberus was doing a real good job getting what they wanted out of Beatrice. On the other, much more important hand, she <em> had </em> promised to actually resolve this; the Helltaker opened her mouth again with a much firmer tone than she actually felt like having: “Why’d you do it?”</p><p>Middle whined low in her throat and tried to grind her ass harder, only to have her tail grabbed at the base. The Sides made pouting faces at Beatrice, but Middle started answering anyway.</p><p>“Maybewewerejealous,” Middle mumbled, only to yelp when Beatrice yanked her tail. “You spend more time with her than with <em> anyone else</em>!”</p><p>Beatrice froze, only to end up bitten on the shoulder by Left-Side, whose small fangs broke the skin and drew beads of blood. The Helltaker yelped “Red!” in a panicked squeak; Right-Side started holding her up immediately, dropping Middle like a sack of bricks (“<em>Unf!</em>”), while Left-Side inspected the wound with a worried expression.</p><p>“Sorry,” Left-Side said in a small voice.</p><p>Right-Side gave Beatrice a sheepish look. “Sharp.”</p><p>“I know, I know. It’s one of the things I love about you -” Cerberus’s three tails started wagging in excitement, “- but I need my blood <em> inside </em> my body.”</p><p>“Pssh,” Middle said into the floor. “What’re you gonna do, die?”</p><p>Beatrice stared at Middle. She looked at Left-Side to catch Cerberus’s expression, then at Right-Side to double-check; both wore the expectant look of someone waiting for a joke to be completed.</p><p>“Cerb...this isn’t Hell. I’m not alive through will alone. If you kill me I’ll <em> die</em>.”</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” came out of all three fanged mouths.</p><p>“<em>How did you not know this? </em>”</p><p>“We just thought -,” Left-Side began, words tumbling out of her mouth.</p><p>Middle picked it up, “- that mortals ran out of will -,” her words bleeding into -</p><p>-Right-Side’s frantic, apologetic babble, “- and fucking <em> died </em>, do you mean you hang around until someone kills you?”</p><p>Beatrice touched her wound. Damn, that was really going at it, huh? Neck and head wounds always bled to fuck and back; at least her suit jacket was already red. “Well, no. We also just drop dead sometimes.”</p><p>“<em>You can just drop dead?</em>” Three sets of white ears drooped back against Cerberus’s heads.</p><p>“...Yeah, Cerberus, we can, we do it all the time. That’s how we usually end up in Hell.” Beatrice pushed her sunglasses up her nose. “I should probably get this bandaged…”</p><p>“Nonono,” Left-Side said quickly, “let me handle it.”</p><p>Beatrice was about to object to Cerberus putting those same fangs near her neck again when she felt the Triple Demon’s tongue lap over her bleeding wound, leaving behind a tingling sensation tinged with heat and the faint scent of sulfur. The Helltaker felt her bleeding stop, and a full-body shiver surged through her, leaving goosebumps on her bare legs.</p><p>Right-Side murmured softly: “We’re sorry. We’ll be good.”</p><p>“Did you want to keep going?” Middle asked from the floor; her tail wrapped around Beatrice’s still-hard cock and gave it an affectionate squeeze. </p><p>The Helltaker moaned. “I want you,” she admitted in a low voice; the Sides perked up, red eyes bright with interest and affection. They picked Middle back <em> up </em> like a sack of bricks, grunting as they hauled their third body up in a rough motion and encouraged it to return to hotdogging Beatrice with a pair of loud slaps against Middle’s round ass. “Where were we again?”</p><p>“We were talking about how Pandemonica is your favorite,” Middle prompted.</p><p>"Pandemonica's not my favorite, she's just -"</p><p>"Just?" Middle prompted; she went slack in the grip of the Sides, still grinding her bare ass against Beatrice's cock in slow and steady motions. "Just what?"</p><p>"Easy," Beatrice admitted, her voice heavy with guilt and self-awareness. "Not...stressful. Even when she's had her coffee she's so straightforward and uncomplicated."</p><p>"If you wanted simple -" Left-Side began.</p><p>Right-Side finished: “- you should have left us in Hell.”</p><p>Beatrice nodded. "I haven't been fair to you and I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you?"</p><p>"Punishing Middle's a good start," the Sides crooned, to the tune of the body in question resuming its desperate struggling and pleas for mercy. Beatrice shivered at the sensations playing up and down her cock.</p><p>“Is it really just sex you want though?” she asked in the tones of someone who knew she might be cockblocking herself but had, to her frequent regret, been raised with both Morals and Standards. “I haven’t always known how to be…”</p><p>“Close?” Left-Side prompted.</p><p>“Yeah,” Beatrice admitted. Right-Side propped her shoulder up with one firm hand; the Helltaker’s knees were quaking with contained arousal and need. “I’ve never been quite sure how much of...this...is you playing and how much is just...you. Being who you are.”</p><p>Right-Side gave Beatrice a little kiss on the cheek. “Playing <em> is </em> who we are. But -”</p><p>“- most of what we want is your time,  Helltaker. Not all of it. Like, fuck us, definitely -” Left-Side continued.</p><p>Middle moaned in their grips: “- <em> Fuck us so hard please </em> -”</p><p>“But even just putting you in a pile while you read a book or darn your socks is nice,” the Sides said in unison. </p><p>“...You’re jealous of Pandemonica taking naps with me?” Three dog-girls nodded vigorously, one at both ends, and Beatrice gave them a rueful smile. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now…”</p><p>All three of Cerberus’s bodies howled in shuddering bliss when Beatrice slid her cock into Middle’s pussy, the Sides nearly dropping her to the floor in their distraction.</p><p>“You know, this is supposed to be a punishment,” the Helltaker teased, with absolutely no intention of stopping. Cerberus’s ass was soft and comfy, and <em> inside </em>…</p><p> ...Well, there’s a reason humans have been horny for demons for thousands of years, and we can leave it at that.</p><p>Left-Side practically purred. “It <em> is </em>. We didn’t put a condom on you -” </p><p>“- For a reason,” Right-Side sang out. Their spade-tipped tails slapped against Beatrice’s ass and then wriggled in closer; their soft tips prodded at the Helltaker’s asshole, making her bite her lip and cry out in surprised pleasure.</p><p>“C-cerb-”</p><p>Beatrice’s words got swallowed by a deep kiss from Right-Side; she half-screamed into the Triple Demon’s mouth when their tails pushed in past her tight ring, filling her ass with their wriggling warmth. The Helltaker tried to find a chance to object, but every time she came up for air Cerberus dragged her deeper into the kiss, intensifying the haze of pleasure in Beatrice’s mind. There was a reason she shouldn’t just cum in Middle, right? Surely there was...a reason…</p><p>Left-Side kissed Beatrice’s ear. “You’re very thoughtful,” she murmured, “but we’re ready, and this is the best house possible to raise our kid in. So give…” another soft kiss, “...her…” a gentle bite, scraping small fangs along Beatrice’s neck and making her cry out into Right-Side’s mouth, “to us.”</p><p>That made sense, right? That had to make sense. Oh fucking -</p><p>Beatrice came. Not even Right-Side could muffle the sound of it fully; the Sides had to help hold her up, letting Middle drop dangerously towards the floor again as they tried to balance themself and their lover as both spasmed and cried out. </p><p>Very slowly, what she had just done stole into Beatrice’s awareness and waited for her to notice.</p><p>“Thank you,” the three bodies of Cerberus said with absolute contentment, once again speaking in the unison that was their normal custom. “You should go tell Pandie we’re sorry and we won’t do it again.”</p><p>“...Will you do it again?”</p><p>Three heads shook themselves no. Cerberus helped Beatrice up to her feet and then dragged themselves onto their wide, soft bed to flop down. “Just don’t forget what we talked about, okay?”</p><p>Beatrice nodded in a vague daze. “You got it.”</p><p>⛤</p><p>The Helltaker and Pandemonica stood on the third story of Hell’s Half-Acre, watching Judgement attempt to restrain Zdrada. Hell’s High Prosecutor suplexed her peer and got nothing more impressive than a lusty moan for her troubles. Zdrada rolled away from a furious slash of Judgement’s massive claws and stuck her tongue out before running, still smoking her coffee-laced cigarettes.</p><p>“...So yeah, Cerberus is sorry, and it was mostly my fault. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”</p><p>Pandemonica sighed. “I know you will, but that hardly helps me <em> right now </em>. Just. Give me space for a day or two. I’m going to have to focus on work more than usual without my coffee.”</p><p>Beatrice hugged her tired girlfriend around the shoulders; the two turned when they heard the door open, admitting Modeus with a determined look on her face.</p><p>“Beatrice! I’m here to ask - to - I’m going to -” Modeus stamped her foot, her face turning red with embarrassment.</p><p>Beatrice raised her eyebrows above her sunglasses. “To ask me out on that date?”</p><p>Modeus froze, turning, if anything, even redder, and then she fled the room at top speeds.</p><p>“...Damnit.”</p><p>“By definition,” Pandemonica drawled.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>